Secrets of Networking, Part 10

The tenth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

10. Initiative – starting something is important, but you must carry it through and complete it. This earns respect from the people you are with.

Actually, initiative and follow-through are two different animals. You may start something, but I may have to finish it.

It is my observation that most people have little to no initiative. They like the status quo and dislike change unless it favors them. Most seldom start any new project and oppose those who do.

Therefore, those who do have initiative are to be encouraged and mentored to continue volunteering, continue creating new ideas, continue connecting the dots, and continue stepping out on the edge.

Not finishing what you start is not always wrong. If you learn after you start that you are going the wrong way, then stopping or turning directions is wise indeed.

Most successful entrepreneurs are self-initiators. Most intrapreneurs (entrepreneurs within a corporate structure) are self-initiators. Most jobpreneurs are self-initiators. Most fail – many times; but the winners get up and keep learning, keep trying new ideas, and keep reaching for the stars. They may not reach the stars, but I would rather be surrounded by those with initiative than those who sit on the bench.

It is said that Thomas Edison tried over 10,000 ways to create the light bulb. He got up from each failure with the knowledge that he learned from the last failure how to not repeat the same mistake and then initiated a new approach, and a new approach, and a new approach…until he succeeded. Then he began on his next initiative. If you tour his old factory, I am sure that you will see many ideas that never made the light of day. Yet many of his inventions changed America.

Be an initiator. Then, add to that trait persistence, perseverance, and never giving up. Eventually you will succeed.

The smartest initiators start something and then surround themselves with those who implement their ideas. Many of them are called business owners.

My advice, the hardest step is to get started. Get up. Get started. Get help to accomplish your goals.

Secrets of Networking, Part 8

The eighth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

8. Feedback – the people in your life want to know what you think. If you can deliver negative feedback with respect and kindness, it will be welcomed. If you can deliver positive feedback, it will be cherished.

This is not a point that I would emphasize. My observation is that people generally want to know what you think if it is good. If it is constructive criticism, no thank you. If it is negative, “how dare he…” What is your observation?

In fact, I see insiders who constantly see areas of improvement for others but rarely mention them.

The wise man, who wants to get wiser, does seek negative feedback. He can weigh its value and decide to accept it or to reject it but if delivered with respect it is always welcome – if timed and worded properly.

Most of us appreciate positive feedback as long as it is not merely polite stroking. If it is sincere and appreciative, we may feel a little unease but it is welcome.

Some of us, including myself, give feedback as a way of sincerely wanting to help others. It is not always appreciated. We sometimes get burnt by the receiving party but helping someone see their blind side is, in my opinion, the most sincere way of trying to help others.

However, if you are crude or malicious in your remarks, please do it elsewhere.

Secrets of Networking, Part 7

The seventh point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

7. Sincerity – you can make a decision to be caring, responsive, and open, and then make the effort to project and follow up on these things.

Do you think most people, according to this definition, are sincere today? Are you?

There are several good points to make. First, you can intellectually agree and decide with your mind that you want to be caring, responsive, and open.  But until those attitudes are in your heart (emotional center of values), then you will merely be hypocritical. You can pretend to project these traits and even follow up on them but unless they are part of your true self, it will only be an act.

So, how do you move a trait from agreeing that you need to change to agreeing that you want to change to actually making the change?

There are actually several methods with differing degrees of success. But the first step is to think about the statement and ask yourself if you even care about this trait. If not, you would be wasting your time to pretend about it.

If you truly value this trait, how badly do you want it? How would it impact your life? Are you willing to pay the price? If not, why bother?

If you want something bad enough, you will make the effort and eventual change.

In my opinion, most people in the United States want to be sincere. We just have and see a lot of bad apples. So, the next question is, “how are others seeing your sincerity?”

We see a lot of frauds, silver bullet speakers and easy solutions that are anything but sincere. A person who is sincerely looking out for our interests would be a breath of fresh air! What is your reputation?

Secrets of Networking, Part 5

The fifth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

5.  Respect – you say a lot about yourself in the way you treat other people and in the professionalism in your appearance.

I agree, with a caveat. If you practice appropriate manners, customs, and expectations then you are showing respect. If you are about helping others and not self-absorbed, then you are showing more than respect. You are showing trustworthiness, compassion, and understanding.

By appropriate, some examples are:

• You understand rules of networking, relationships, the office, and home
• You practice what is right in the environment where you are. These are different depending upon country, industry, cultural societies, and even within a department within a division within a company.
• You understand what is not right in any circumstance.

You understand that respect does not mean you sacrifice your values to show respect. It does suggest that if your values may be compromised, perhaps you should not be going there or perhaps you should move on.

If you want to help others, then you will generally be aware of how to show respect. Most of those who fall into the trap of disrespect are those whose opinion about themselves and their self interests are so high that they demand others respect them and their rights even as they disrespect and trample upon the rights of others.

Secrets of Networking, Part 4

The fourth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

4. Demeanor – your demeanor, your ability to smile, to get along with people, to get excited and to show emotion are very important.

Again, I would not put this #4. However, it does have an impact on the first impression (10 seconds time) and your ongoing brand. It also impacts your “likeability” quotient.

When Lindsey Vonn won her downhill skiing Olympic gold medal, she cried. I don’t know about other viewers but she touched the heart of my wife and me. It seemed genuine, was appropriate and was emotionally touching.

However, there is a trap here that you should consider.

I would rather have someone with a focused and intense personality who performs rather than a “likeable” person who performs poorly. I would rather have an authentic and honest person than one who wears a mask of likeability. Your brand is who you are all the time. If you are caught being a hypocrite, you will get caught eventually. Then, your trustworthiness will be questioned.

I recommend first, be authentically who you are. Second, check out your demeanor. If there are areas of improvement (which most of us have), then seek to understand the root causes of why we are the way we are. If you are unhappy on the inside, putting a mask on the outside will eventually come back to bite you. Deal with root causes. You might need some professional help.

At the same time, check out your smile, your ability to get along with people, and your likeability. It will impact your success.

I am merely suggesting that long-term success first includes authentic trustworthiness.

Secrets of Networking, Part 2

The second point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

2. Punctuality – being on time is a promise that we get to keep regularly. It is expected of most of us. When you are late the person may feel resentful about being stood up and that they are not important to you. Even if you show up 2 minutes later, going through that thought process at all is not good for a relationship.

First, I disagree that punctuality should be ranked this high. This list is being shared to help you but is not nearly complete or prioritized the way I would prioritize it. However, it is a valid point.

Just yesterday, when I am actually writing this blog, I had an appointment with someone referred to me. We were supposed to meet at 10 am at a location of his choosing. The morning of the meeting, he sent me a text message saying he would be there at 9:45. So, I left early and allowed time for heavy traffic. Fortunately, traffic was light. I arrived at 9:20, purchased some coffee, and worked while waiting.

9:45 came and went. 10:00 came and went. Shortly after 10, the other party called saying he was running a couple of minutes late. He quickly apologized (his prior meeting lasted longer than anticipated) and we had a good meeting.

Should he have made allowances? Sure, just as I did my leaving earlier. Was I a little miffed? Yes. If I thought it was important enough to be early, shouldn’t he have planned his day better? Shouldn’t he have planned for “traffic” time. Would that have taken some time away from him if “traffic” did not exist? Absolutely! But then he could have also brought along some work to do.

Am I ever going to forgive him? Let me put it this way. There have been meetings where I either totally forgot about them or put them down incorrectly on my calendar. Sometimes I am left waiting while no one shows up and sometimes they show up and call me saying, “Where are you?’ This rarely happens, but it does happen. Life goes on.

But the principle is sound.  Punctuality is honoring the other party and showing that you can be trusted to respect the other party’s time. If your reputation is that, “you are never on time” then the message is that you are all about you. So, why should I hire you? Why should I want to buy from you? Why should I even want to reset an appointment with you?

Learn the rules. Be punctual as a lifestyle. Apologize when the rare occasion happens that you are late – it will happen. Be sure your brand is someone who tries to intentionally arrive early. My person rule is 15 minutes early. What is your rule?

Secrets of Networking, Part 1

The first set of points is from a blog by Charlie Robertson, www.charliethecoach.co.uk, who is with BNI. Charlie is apparently quoting from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson. The gist of the blog is 10 ways that you can increase the Word of Mouth techniques to help others talk about you in a positive way. Another way of putting this would be to review the  non-verbal actions that impact your brand.

While this list is by no means complete, I think it is worth reviewing.

What does “Word of Mouth” have to do with networking? It has everything to do with your brand and the brand extension of what others see in you and think of you. So, here are a series of blogs on the list Charlie cites from the book, “Deserve What You Get.”

1. Keeping Promises – the number one reason relationships fail, at work, or at home, is that one side perceives a promise that isn’t kept. If you want the relationship to succeed, you have to find out what the expectations are and meet them or change the expectations. You must prioritize your promises and you must make your priorities known.

This goes back to the concept of trust. “Can I trust you to keep your promise?” Clearly the idea of meeting or exceeding expectations is worth a book by itself. Eventually, you will get caught if you lie, deceive, or misrepresent. The onus is on you to go the next step to see if the expectations that you promised are kept.

The first challenge is that the expectations that you thought you made may not match what the other party thought you communicated. The author is correct in saying that this intentional or unintentional gap is a major reason for not succeeding.

The author is also correct in suggesting that you must manage your commitments and correcting others who want to “assign” you with commitments that you did not make. This happens in consulting when the hiring company expands job scope, without wanting to pay for it, and expecting you to comply (at your cost). This happens when a boss gives you an impossible assignment, with the time and resources that you have available. This happens when a family is pulling you one way with their set of expectations (spelled “demands”) and work is pulling you the other way.

The key is to decide who you are, what your values are, and to prioritize what you can and cannot do. There are certain promises that are seen as so fundamental, usually tied to character, that failure can be catastrophic. Of the rest, it is best to either not make a promise or to be sure that you condition it with reality.

Why? You don’t want to develop the reputation (brand) of not being trustworthy.

Secrets of On-Line Branding, Part Six

Continuing with Merideth Levensen’s article, point number six is:

6. Over-promoting yourself: Keep it cool. There’s no need to go nuts with all this stuff.

How much time do you have? Who is really looking at what you are doing? Is each site really worth the time and effort?

Again, in today’s fast pace environment, we all want to help ourselves as much as possible but usually end up with memberships in too many sites, with too many passwords, and too much of a risk in confusing our brand.

We need to focus on what is most important and do that well.

This is why I disabled my social sites called Whacked Executive Network and Whacked Community Network. As my business expands, what I need to do changes. I just don’t have the time to continue with sites or things that are not current and relatively easy to do.

It is fine to experiment, to learn, and to continue improving your message but keep in mind that if you spread yourself too thin you may lose focus, lose a consistent message, and lose getting what you really want. If you are caught on personal sites while at work, you may lose your job.

Take a look at what you are doing on the internet. Do you need to go on a social networking diet?

Secrets of On-Line Branding, Part 5

Continuing with Merideth Levensen’s article, point number five is:

5. Not committing to social media: Whatever you set up, you must maintain.

I also agree.

Many of us are asked to join gazillions of social and business sites. I recommend that you refuse to do so. You will not have the time to maintain them. You will waste incredible amounts of time on them – with little to no personal benefit. You will often send out conflicting messages versus what you may have on other sites. And…you might even reveal something that could be embarrassing or damaging to your future or your career.

We probably all make this mistake. I recommend you take a look at where you are and re-examine whether you should be there. I recommend that you review what you are posting in light of yesterday’s blog.

5. Not committing to social media: Whatever you set up, you must maintain.

I also agree.

Many of us are asked to join gazillions of social and business sites. I recommend that you refuse to do so. You will not have the time to maintain them. You will waste incredible amounts of time on them – with little to no personal benefit. You will often send out conflicting messages versus what you may have on other sites. And…you might even reveal something that could be embarrassing or damaging to your future or your career.

We probably all make this mistake. I recommend you take a look at where you are and re-examine whether you should be there. I recommend that you review what you are posting in light of yesterday’s blog.

Secrets of On-Line Branding, Part 3

Continuing with Merideth Levensen’s article, point number three is:

3. Adopting a copycat or generic brand: Don’t copy other people’s buzzwords. Originality is key.

Based upon other statements Merideth makes, it would be easy to miss her point that “Originality is key.”  I agree.

However, I want to focus on another mistake that people make – that a brand is merely a buzzword. Branding is much, much, much, more than what is really a “tag line” or “Value Proposition.”  Since I cover Value Propositions in my books and in much more detail in my seminars, I won’t bore you with the details except to say that this is the number one communication tool in networking!

The simplest example is my describing myself as the “Chief Job Doctor.” It accomplishes my purpose of communicating what I do, my value, is memorable, and raises an unspoken question that allows the start of a communication process. Is it totally unique? No. There are a few “job doctors” on the internet but no one who does exactly what we do and has the background that we have.

What is your unique value proposition?

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