Using Ideas From Others

I deliberately like to use insights from others. It increases knowledge. It also can increase awareness that many who speak don’t have a clue what they are talking about. However, it is the process of listening to many that you can learn what is truth, what is sound knowledge, and what is best practice.

When you find someone who consistently says things that you recognize as right, then you can begin to trust most of what they say. Not all, but most. For example, you might not agree with everything I say. That is good. You should hear what is said and be able to intelligently accept or reject it with sound reasoning. My goal is not to propagandize but to teach the skill of thinking.

Similarly, you should test every principle that you hear. If you listen to me enough, by now you should have recognized that much of “traditional teaching” is to keep the common man common. It is often propaganda that insiders ignore.

To demonstrate, I used two lists by different authors over the past two weeks to show my thoughts. First, I chose authors whose lists I thought would be of value to you. Then, I expanded upon their comments. In many cases, if the authors saw my comments, they too could agree or disagree and say why. So, my comments in no way are to be taken as negative toward those authors – actually I was complimenting them by using them.

This illustration has a purpose.

Most successful people surround themselves by those whom they can trust and by those whose advice has proven to be wise counsel. That is why they are often called “Trusted Advisors”.

Note that a trusted advisor to a Mafia Don might not be the best trusted advisor to a Banker. Notice that the belief systems, values, and interpretation of “good advice” may be different.

I encourage you to begin surrounding yourself with those whose advice matches your belief systems, values, and what works.  I also encourage you to constantly compare your belief systems and values to others to be sure that the foundation of your life is built upon what you really want it to be. You may learn something new and useful. You may also save yourself from a lot of heartache.

Secrets of Networking, Part 10

The tenth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

10. Initiative – starting something is important, but you must carry it through and complete it. This earns respect from the people you are with.

Actually, initiative and follow-through are two different animals. You may start something, but I may have to finish it.

It is my observation that most people have little to no initiative. They like the status quo and dislike change unless it favors them. Most seldom start any new project and oppose those who do.

Therefore, those who do have initiative are to be encouraged and mentored to continue volunteering, continue creating new ideas, continue connecting the dots, and continue stepping out on the edge.

Not finishing what you start is not always wrong. If you learn after you start that you are going the wrong way, then stopping or turning directions is wise indeed.

Most successful entrepreneurs are self-initiators. Most intrapreneurs (entrepreneurs within a corporate structure) are self-initiators. Most jobpreneurs are self-initiators. Most fail – many times; but the winners get up and keep learning, keep trying new ideas, and keep reaching for the stars. They may not reach the stars, but I would rather be surrounded by those with initiative than those who sit on the bench.

It is said that Thomas Edison tried over 10,000 ways to create the light bulb. He got up from each failure with the knowledge that he learned from the last failure how to not repeat the same mistake and then initiated a new approach, and a new approach, and a new approach…until he succeeded. Then he began on his next initiative. If you tour his old factory, I am sure that you will see many ideas that never made the light of day. Yet many of his inventions changed America.

Be an initiator. Then, add to that trait persistence, perseverance, and never giving up. Eventually you will succeed.

The smartest initiators start something and then surround themselves with those who implement their ideas. Many of them are called business owners.

My advice, the hardest step is to get started. Get up. Get started. Get help to accomplish your goals.

Secrets of Networking, Part 9

The ninth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

9. Enthusiasm – enthusiasm is said to be self-confidence in action. It comes before success. Positive enthusiastic energy is one of the most sought after traits.

Actually, I disagree. Passion is the source of enthusiasm, energy, and perseverance. It is a secret ingredient to success.

Enthusiasm without passion is generally self manufactured and will die with challenging circumstances. Enthusiasm without substance is not a pretty sight. It can be over-reaching, arrogant, and obnoxious. It can also be based upon false reality and delusion; which can be destructive.

Here is a suggested formula: Belief System + Values + Passion + Mission = an irresistible force that will accomplish something. What it accomplishes depends upon what the belief system and values are based upon.

In searching for results in life, I strongly recommend that you look beneath the surface to be sure that the foundation is solid. True lifetime success is built upon a solid foundation.

Do I like enthusiasm? Of course! It is contagious! I am even more excited when it is based upon substance and principles that agree with my conclusions of a strong foundation.

Secrets of Networking, Part 8

The eighth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

8. Feedback – the people in your life want to know what you think. If you can deliver negative feedback with respect and kindness, it will be welcomed. If you can deliver positive feedback, it will be cherished.

This is not a point that I would emphasize. My observation is that people generally want to know what you think if it is good. If it is constructive criticism, no thank you. If it is negative, “how dare he…” What is your observation?

In fact, I see insiders who constantly see areas of improvement for others but rarely mention them.

The wise man, who wants to get wiser, does seek negative feedback. He can weigh its value and decide to accept it or to reject it but if delivered with respect it is always welcome – if timed and worded properly.

Most of us appreciate positive feedback as long as it is not merely polite stroking. If it is sincere and appreciative, we may feel a little unease but it is welcome.

Some of us, including myself, give feedback as a way of sincerely wanting to help others. It is not always appreciated. We sometimes get burnt by the receiving party but helping someone see their blind side is, in my opinion, the most sincere way of trying to help others.

However, if you are crude or malicious in your remarks, please do it elsewhere.

Secrets of Networking, Part 7

The seventh point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

7. Sincerity – you can make a decision to be caring, responsive, and open, and then make the effort to project and follow up on these things.

Do you think most people, according to this definition, are sincere today? Are you?

There are several good points to make. First, you can intellectually agree and decide with your mind that you want to be caring, responsive, and open.  But until those attitudes are in your heart (emotional center of values), then you will merely be hypocritical. You can pretend to project these traits and even follow up on them but unless they are part of your true self, it will only be an act.

So, how do you move a trait from agreeing that you need to change to agreeing that you want to change to actually making the change?

There are actually several methods with differing degrees of success. But the first step is to think about the statement and ask yourself if you even care about this trait. If not, you would be wasting your time to pretend about it.

If you truly value this trait, how badly do you want it? How would it impact your life? Are you willing to pay the price? If not, why bother?

If you want something bad enough, you will make the effort and eventual change.

In my opinion, most people in the United States want to be sincere. We just have and see a lot of bad apples. So, the next question is, “how are others seeing your sincerity?”

We see a lot of frauds, silver bullet speakers and easy solutions that are anything but sincere. A person who is sincerely looking out for our interests would be a breath of fresh air! What is your reputation?

Secrets of Networking, Part 6

The sixth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

6.  Gratitude – all of us feel gratitude at one point or another. Some people market themselves by expressing this gratitude with a smile, with a few words, or with a handwritten thank you note.

This is a hidden secret. It sounds trite. That is why it is a hidden secret.

None of us can do everything by ourselves. Most of us can actually do very little without the help of others. Networking is all about others helping us and introducing us to others who can help us (as well as the reverse). We should be thankful – and express our thankfulness.

Thankfulness expressed is saying that the other person is appreciated. How many spouses go everyday without receiving any expressed appreciation? What does it cost me to say “thank you”? How can that impact our spouse, besides their falling on the floor in amazement?

I personally thank and appreciate my God for all He has done and will do. I thank and appreciate my wife for being the wonderful person she is and all that she does for me. I thank and appreciate everyone who helps me.

My response, learning from how much I appreciate others, is to help them. Everyone wins when you make a habit of expressing gratitude.

Secrets of Networking, Part 5

The fifth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

5.  Respect – you say a lot about yourself in the way you treat other people and in the professionalism in your appearance.

I agree, with a caveat. If you practice appropriate manners, customs, and expectations then you are showing respect. If you are about helping others and not self-absorbed, then you are showing more than respect. You are showing trustworthiness, compassion, and understanding.

By appropriate, some examples are:

• You understand rules of networking, relationships, the office, and home
• You practice what is right in the environment where you are. These are different depending upon country, industry, cultural societies, and even within a department within a division within a company.
• You understand what is not right in any circumstance.

You understand that respect does not mean you sacrifice your values to show respect. It does suggest that if your values may be compromised, perhaps you should not be going there or perhaps you should move on.

If you want to help others, then you will generally be aware of how to show respect. Most of those who fall into the trap of disrespect are those whose opinion about themselves and their self interests are so high that they demand others respect them and their rights even as they disrespect and trample upon the rights of others.

Secrets of Networking, Part 4

The fourth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

4. Demeanor – your demeanor, your ability to smile, to get along with people, to get excited and to show emotion are very important.

Again, I would not put this #4. However, it does have an impact on the first impression (10 seconds time) and your ongoing brand. It also impacts your “likeability” quotient.

When Lindsey Vonn won her downhill skiing Olympic gold medal, she cried. I don’t know about other viewers but she touched the heart of my wife and me. It seemed genuine, was appropriate and was emotionally touching.

However, there is a trap here that you should consider.

I would rather have someone with a focused and intense personality who performs rather than a “likeable” person who performs poorly. I would rather have an authentic and honest person than one who wears a mask of likeability. Your brand is who you are all the time. If you are caught being a hypocrite, you will get caught eventually. Then, your trustworthiness will be questioned.

I recommend first, be authentically who you are. Second, check out your demeanor. If there are areas of improvement (which most of us have), then seek to understand the root causes of why we are the way we are. If you are unhappy on the inside, putting a mask on the outside will eventually come back to bite you. Deal with root causes. You might need some professional help.

At the same time, check out your smile, your ability to get along with people, and your likeability. It will impact your success.

I am merely suggesting that long-term success first includes authentic trustworthiness.

Secrets of Networking, Part 3

The third point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

3.  Ethics and Honesty – people feel if they can trust you, almost everything else fades in importance. Lack of integrity is simply trading promises you make to others in exchange for personal gain.

There is a huge difference between trust and character. It ultimately depends upon your belief system as to “what is ethical and what is honesty?”  This is part of my Jobpreneurshipä 201 curriculum. The concept of trust is so important that I wrote a book on it called Trusted Relationships – The Secret to Lasting Success. You can find this book in the website section of “Resources”.

What I want to suggest here is that, assuming both parties agree on definitions, then:

• Failing to match the values required for doing business will typically cause them to stop doing business with you
• Failing to match the values required for employees will typically cause employers to fire you
• Failing to match the values required by your spouse will typically cause your spouse to leave you
• Failing to match the values you communicated to your children will typically cause them to ignore you or imitate you when they grow up.

Do I need to say more?

You may get away with dishonesty, a lack of ethics, or being self-serving for a long time – if you are good at it. But eventually it will come back to haunt you. Fully recovering from lost trust never happens. At a minimum there will be scars and impacts on others that will not go away.

For most of us, we cannot afford to be associated with those of poor character. It ultimately impacts our brand and our relationships. It can also impact us personally. So, there is a simple remedy…goodbye.

Please take a look in the mirror. If this is an area that needs improving, your ultimate success will not come until you deal with what most of us describe as a character flaw.

Secrets of Networking, Part 2

The second point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

2. Punctuality – being on time is a promise that we get to keep regularly. It is expected of most of us. When you are late the person may feel resentful about being stood up and that they are not important to you. Even if you show up 2 minutes later, going through that thought process at all is not good for a relationship.

First, I disagree that punctuality should be ranked this high. This list is being shared to help you but is not nearly complete or prioritized the way I would prioritize it. However, it is a valid point.

Just yesterday, when I am actually writing this blog, I had an appointment with someone referred to me. We were supposed to meet at 10 am at a location of his choosing. The morning of the meeting, he sent me a text message saying he would be there at 9:45. So, I left early and allowed time for heavy traffic. Fortunately, traffic was light. I arrived at 9:20, purchased some coffee, and worked while waiting.

9:45 came and went. 10:00 came and went. Shortly after 10, the other party called saying he was running a couple of minutes late. He quickly apologized (his prior meeting lasted longer than anticipated) and we had a good meeting.

Should he have made allowances? Sure, just as I did my leaving earlier. Was I a little miffed? Yes. If I thought it was important enough to be early, shouldn’t he have planned his day better? Shouldn’t he have planned for “traffic” time. Would that have taken some time away from him if “traffic” did not exist? Absolutely! But then he could have also brought along some work to do.

Am I ever going to forgive him? Let me put it this way. There have been meetings where I either totally forgot about them or put them down incorrectly on my calendar. Sometimes I am left waiting while no one shows up and sometimes they show up and call me saying, “Where are you?’ This rarely happens, but it does happen. Life goes on.

But the principle is sound.  Punctuality is honoring the other party and showing that you can be trusted to respect the other party’s time. If your reputation is that, “you are never on time” then the message is that you are all about you. So, why should I hire you? Why should I want to buy from you? Why should I even want to reset an appointment with you?

Learn the rules. Be punctual as a lifestyle. Apologize when the rare occasion happens that you are late – it will happen. Be sure your brand is someone who tries to intentionally arrive early. My person rule is 15 minutes early. What is your rule?

« Previous Page — Next Page »